Wednesday, January 30, 2013


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My Mother tells me interesting stories that I usually dismiss because they just seem too crazy to not be true...  For example, she recently told my husband and I that after her Mother had her third baby she refused to get out of bed.  Apparently my Grandmother said that her legs wouldn't work and she could not walk.  I believe that she was suffering from a severe case of postpartum depression, but that has no bearing on the tale.

My Grandfather decided to help.  While she was sleeping he took two live electrical wires, crossed them and shocked her feet.  Wait a minute, yes he basically sent an electrical current into his wife's feet on purpose.  Some would call this electrocution.  The husband interjected to ask if these were 220 volt wires.  Deemed irrelevant to the story, my Mother continued that this shocking of my Grandmother awoke her and made her so furious that she jumped out of bed and chased my Grandfather out the room presumably to kill him.  He ran out of the house where he hid until she calmed down, feeling very smug about curing her leg problem.  Yes, she did get out of bed and start taking care of the house and the children again.

So these are the geniuses I am descended from which only makes it more ironic when she starts telling the husband about how intelligent I am and did you know I has a "MENSA level IQ".  Really?  How do you know?  Well apparently she had me IQ tested before starting kindergarten, at the tender age of four.  What exactly does an IQ test for a 4-year-old look like?  Are you a genius if you know your colors?, can read?, ponder the cosmos?  The whole thing seems suspect to me...although I do think I can use this to my advantage during arguments.  How can the husband not concede to my wishes when I am the one with the MENSA level IQ.  I did marry him.  I must be brilliant.

To answer the MENSA question once and for all, I decided to take an online IQ test.  Coincidentally, the normally $18 pre-screening "so you think you are smart enough for to apply to MENSA" test is free during the month of January.  You have one more day to take advantage of this special offer at:

The test is four parts and timed.  You have 8 minutes to complete about 20 questions in each section.  The first section was weird partial pictures of hands and forearms where you identify right or left.  Seriously.  The rest was logic and math questions, which I happen to like.  I took the test amidst distractions and probably would have done better if I focused a little more, but part of me just wanted to prove Mother wrong.  Yes I still have not outgrown my tendencies toward teenage rebellion...and unquenchable curiosity.

These are my results.  I am convinced that I botched the right/left questions...


You scored a 69 on the Mensa Home Test.

Scores between 63 and 70 from the online test are above the 86th percentile and indicate an approximate IQ range between 116 and 125. This high score indicates a strong possibility that you may qualify for membership in Mensa!

Pretty inconclusive actually.  What the next step requires is paying $40 to take a 30 minute test.  If you score in the top 2% you are eligible for MENSA membership.  Then you get to join and pay dues for the privilege of wearing around an I am Smarter than You pin.  Ok, not really, but I can't help thinking about it that way.  When I was in college working as a waitress I would occasionally have the privilege of waiting on the MENSA meeting.  They were pretty eccentric and did not tip well, despite their grasp of high math.

So I think I am going to leave my little MENSA experiment at that..let's call it a draw...within the realm of possibility but certainly not definite. I still should win all the arguments though!